I searched the internet religiously trying to find answers to the problems I was facing in my body post-competition. I felt lost in my journey and unsure how to put into words what was going on. The World Wide Web only provided competitors with drug-related issues that were similar, but it didn’t help me. I needed to find out what was happening to my body!
What Happened??
The year was 2018, a year full of success and struggle for me.
The start of the year was amazing, I completed a lifelong goal to compete in bikini fitness and was ready to keep working. I loved how I felt, looked, and how more driven in life I became.
After my second show, my coach and I decided to take the judge’s feedback and come off the stage to put on more muscle mass. I was good with this plan, as I was ready to stop dieting and take some time off. Honestly, I was just ready to eat!
My reverse diet began and I thought I’d start to feel better from dieting so hard, but I didn’t. I knew reversing would be hard, but I felt like I couldn’t control how ravenous I was. My hunger would get the best of me, and I would devour my kitchen, finishing boxes of cereal, eating prepared dinners in Tupperware, cans of vegetables, and nothing was ever enough…I was starving. “How am I not full?” I kept wondering that after these episodes continued with me crying my eyes out. I was a mess and I needed to find out what was going on with me.
On my 31st birthday, I went and saw a general practitioner and poured my heart out to him. Confessing it all: night sweats, tired and weak, hunger pains, hair loss, fast weight gain, no period, zero libido, extreme bloating, etc. He looked at me and said, “Well, you might be going through menopause.” It took everything in me not to scream. The look on my face said it all, and he proposed to get some lab work done for more concrete evidence.
I continued training and trying to hit my macros, but it was hard. Finally, my blood work had come in and I had another appointment to meet with the doctor on the results. I was eager to hear–as bad as this sounds–what was wrong with me because then I could finally fix it. The doctor came in and started reading my results telling me everything was normal, that I was, “Perfect!” Could it be that everything is fine and it’s all in my head? The doctor tried to reassure me this was a good thing and that I’m fine. Then he said, “You know, muscle weighs more than fat, right?” He struck a nerve, and I was sure I was dealing with an idiot. I said, “Duh,” and grabbed my purse and left the office.
Immediately, I went to another doctor and got new lab work performed. He heard my symptoms, read my new labs, and to my surprise, echoed the other doctor telling me, “I was fine.”
Now, two medical professionals were telling me I was fine, that I had nothing to worry about. Since I wasn’t on or taking any drugs for competing, I was good. My period would eventually come back, so I was fine… right?
I stayed on low calories, depressed, tired, and questioned if I needed to see another doctor for a third opinion. I felt crazy but convinced myself that this was the post-competition rebound that some competitors experience. After all, I was binge eating and missing the shreds; however, I still couldn’t justify the pain and constant swollen state I was in.
“I’m fine. You’re fine. It’s fine.” A constant pep talk I would give myself, but finally, I couldn’t pretend or fake it anymore. I wasn’t fine, I was tired and felt like the walking dead.
The Results
After tons of research, changing my diet, getting another doctor, and requesting the labs I wanted to be performed, I got a full blood panel (plus an ultrasound) done with a complete test on my thyroid. The doctor read my results and told me my thyroid was underperforming (actually diagnosed with hypothyroidism), I was severely insulin resistant, and I had PCOS but none of my cysts were cancerous—Thank you, Jesus!
What a freakin’ relief! Yes, bad news, but news! It took seven months to get some answers, and I was now weighing 155 pounds; about 40 pounds up from my usual weight and about 50 pounds from stage weight.
Advocate For Yourself
What if I would have believed those doctors? I’m not saying they’re not educated, but the lab work requested was basic labs, not a fully comprehensive test. I didn’t know the difference; I was only listening to the professionals. Truthfully, I didn’t really understand hormones until all this happened to me. I had no idea the impact dieting so hard could do, I was ignorant.
If you’re feeling like this, how I was feeling, then the best advice I can give is to listen to your gut because you are the best person to help you. It’s important to be your own advocate in anything you do. I can’t imagine where I would be if I’d given up at the first doctor telling me I was fine because my road to recovery is still going on, and at that point, I was feeling pain gripping a pencil. If I didn’t start conducting my own research, I would never known to ask about my Free T3 and T4. I stuck up for myself because if I don’t fight for me, who will?
No one knows your body as you do, and if you shrug off problems or feelings then they’ll probably go unaddressed. Speak up. Ask questions. Do your research because when in doubt, check it out.
What’s it going to hurt?